It all started a few years back. I experienced rejection in a big way again in a relationship with a family member. That family was not only a close family member but also a born again believer.
Fun fact – My identity must be anchored to the truth of who God is and who He is to me. Only then can I find a stability beyond what my feelings will ever allow. (L.T.)
Time went by, I shook it off and convinced myself that it didn’t effect me. I have been in a personal pursuit to grow closer to God not to change the world or the people in it but because I want to be a person that He abides with. To be the one in the crowd that He wants to go home with and stay. And because of that, I found myself presented with a choice, blame myself for not being good enough, blame the person for the hurt they caused me, or blame God for letting it happen. I’m not proud to admit it but the first two choices where easy for me to do. The third I had a little more trouble with but eventually I did.
Fun fact – I can not fully embrace God while rejecting His ways.
Once I realized all of this, I went on a journey to fix myself. I studied books, I read the bible, I prayed, I asked for prayer, looking all around. I was angry, sad, confused, hurt and spiraling. I quieted myself inside and out. I waited like that until I was desperate for change. Desperate for breakthrough, answers, and understanding straight from God. I said to God, “Why is this happening? Why did all of this happen?” “Look at me, I’m hurting.” The rejection I had experienced was effecting me in every part of my life, the hurt, anger, and fear, had become the lens I saw my world through. What I really, meant to say when I asked God those questions was “Why have you let this happen to me?” But I was to much of a coward to let those words come out of my mouth but my heart said them for me.
Fun Fact – God Hears the Heart Cry
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” Isa. 43: 1&2
God answered me and said, “I didn’t create Robots.” I was like “What?” How does that help” God reminded me of a few things that happened in the Bible when man was given a choice. For example: Adam and Eve (Eve deceived & Adam not – choice made); Abraham & Isaac (obey & trust or not – choice made); Peter (stand up for what you believe or deny Him a few times – choice made) Story after story through out the Bible I found examples that supported what God meant by saying “I did not create robots.” God explained it to me like this. “Every person is presented with choices that effect something weather good or bad, right or wrong, life or death.” Then I saw a man standing on the edge of a snow covered hill. On one side of him was the devil encouraging him to kick the round stone off the side, on the other side of him stood the Lord showing him the result of the stone going off the side and encouraging him to pick it up and hand it to Him. God showed me what happens when man chooses to listen to the devil, the man kicked the stone, it rolled over the side and grew bigger and bigger as it descended then it crashed into a city located at the bottom and crushed it. He said to me the rock symbolized effected of the mans choice. Of course, if the man would have just picked up the rock and given it to God things would have turned out different for the city. Its not a profound story but it worked for me. I repented for believing the lie that it was God’s fault. I choose to forgive and I let Jesus heal my pain. Is my relationship with the family member restored. No, because relationships are a two part thing. I manage me, they manage themselves. I have used my personal example to share this with you. But it applies to several situations that we all face.
Church folks believing lies that cause them to live in shadows of rejection. example: (I’ve been singing in this choir for years, why did the new person get the solo? What’s wrong with me?)
Family members dwelling in the past. example: (Yeah, I know what they are doing now but I remember when they said/or did this or that…..)
Unsaved everyday people looking for the good in life and only finding the bad. example: (I know that girl at work is a Christian but she talks and acts the same as everyone else so where’s the hope for me….)
Fun fact – God gave man choice – God didn’t make robots
I call heaven and earth to witness this day against you that I have set before you life and death, the blessings and the curses; therefore choose life, that you and your descendants may live. Deuteronomy 30:19
I believe that freedom is the right to choose good or bad. I believe that this means that God wants to be surrounded by family members that want to be with Him not forced or programed robots. Life offers us blessings and curses, good and evil, and its our responsibility to choose what we want in our lives. God wants the best for us. He encourages us to choose life, blessings, and good. His promises are for all who believe.
Fun fact – God has given each and every one of us a choice. Because He wants a people who want Him as much as He wants them.
So I am going into this new year free from my past, embracing my current journey, and looking forward to my future.
Happy New Year 2018